All The Things I Miss About Being Smaller That Have Nothing To Do With How I Looked
March 1, 2017
A lot of people's motivation for losing weight is to look "better." Sure, we know we need to be more fit for health's sake, but it's when we start liking what we see in the mirror that working out and saying no to takeout seems a lot more worth what we call a sacrifice.
One of my problems on my last health journey was I never fully liked what I saw in the mirror, even at my lowest weight -- hence the relapse -- but now that I'm heavier again, I realize there are a lot other things I miss about being smaller. Having been overweight all of my life, it was only when I got close to a healthy size that I realized the way I felt close to 300 pounds wasn't normal and didn't have to be. And now that I've put weight back on and some of that physical (and emotional) discomfort has returned, I'm noticing there are quite a few things I miss about being smaller that have nothing to do with how I looked. Like:
1. Enjoying accidental exercise. On the weekends in the summer, I would walk any and everywhere running errands, partially to get in extra cardio that didn't feel like typical exercise and just because/I actually enjoyed it. I would gladly skip the subway and walk 10 or 20 blocks home from my destination and it would feel like just a casual stroll. Nowadays, I barely want to take the time to climb in and out of the Subway, charging one too many Uber Pools to the game.
2.Not wearing Spanx 24/7. The point of Spanx is to hold stuff in so it makes sense when you have less to hold in you have less of a reason to wear such garments. At my lowest weight, I would only wear Spanx when I was trying to get away with a bodycon and my stomach wouldn't let me be great. Nowadays I find myself debating whether to throw on shapewear under sweats to "smoothe" things out. And quite frankly, that shit is not comfortable enough for daily wear.
3. Just throwing on something. To that point, getting dressed was a lot easier when I was smaller because my weight was steady and I pretty much knew what was going to work and what wouldn't. I didn't overpack my suitcase with options because I didn't know if I was going to be having a good day or a bitch-you-tried-it day. And a t-shirt and sweats legitimately looked like a cute, casual outfit as opposed to an "Oh you didn't even try today" situation.
4. Wearing one bra to workout. This is pretty self-explanatory. If your breasts have never been so big one thick-strapped, underwired maximum support concoction couldn't hold them down through 20 jumping jacks, consider yourself lucky.
5. And not having to pay extra for my bra size. $10 make a difference when we're talking about paying $46.50 or $56.50 for one bra that's not even going to be comfortable whether it's in your size or not. FYI, Im still trying (somewhat unsucessfully) to get in these old DDDs right now so if you see me out with 4 boobs that's why; bear with me.
6. Feeling more comfortable in my body. When I was smaller I wasn't so conscious of how everything moved. I wasn't pulling my shirt down all the time during workouts and looking in the mirror all the time to make sure a bulge wasn't poking out some place I'd tucked it into. Yes, I still zeroed in on my stomach and my frustration at its presence, but overall I was more free, especially in small spaces (like train cars and grocery aisles and packed restaurants), where I didn't have to make awkward accommodations for my body just to move.
7. Feeling better all around. You never realize how good you feel on a daily basis until you feel bad. When I look back on my time at a smaller weight I think about how light I felt, how my only source of pain was leg day, how I didn't assume every cough was the plague because I knew I was fueling my body with healthy things and giving it the exercise and rest it needed. That peace of mind alone is worth the mindset it takes to be dedicated to your health regimen.