Just Get It Over With
Let me start by saying that whole "just get it over with" headline is nowhere near as shady as it sounds, but it is what I had to tell myself to get back on track with this 90-day transformation.
Weeks six-nine of my transformation period were pretty much shot by a trip to New Orleans over fourth of July weekend and an inability to rapidly transition from debauchery back to diet. It wasn't just late nights and even later mornings I was missing. It was the time with my friends, the reasons to dress up and put on a pair of heels, the laid back vibe of Nola, and the thrill of possibility while exploring a different city that I no longer had. When I returned to New York, life was mundane (again). Work, workout, repeat. I was over compression pants, slicked back buns, makeup-less weekdays, and my trainer being the only one texting me (no offense) and I took it out on my diet (again).
And then I got caught up in how much time I'd wasted since my return and how I still hadn't learned how to successfully enjoy a temporary indulgence and return back to healthy living. My behavior was proof to me I still hadn't made healthy eating and exercise a lifestyle change and that scared me. If every time I travel I don't know how to act for weeks on end how would I ever get to where I wanted to be?
I texted my friend who met me in New Orleans and told her I didn't feel like I could do this again.
She told me treat working out like a chore -- something that has to get done. I thought to myself, that doesn't work with the dishes in the sink and that's definitely not going to work for working out. She also reminded me that while I may not know what it would take to get my shit together, one thing I knew for sure was I didn't want to go backward. She was right, but that still wasn't enough to get me going.
But then, instead of counting how much weight I could've lost if I did what I was supposed to do over those few weeks, I started counting the time until the new year. Five months, 24 weeks. Based on my typical weight loss pattern that meant I could still lose somewhere between 45 and 50 pounds by January. That I could work with; that would put me exactly at the initial weight loss goal I set three years ago; that gave me hope. You cannot go into 2018 with this weight stuff still hanging over your head, I told myself. Just get it over with.
I don't know why such a simple phrase did the trick, but it did. I'm not actually over working out and eating right; I'm over trying to lose the same pounds for years on end. When I think about the fact that I could be "done" with scale obsession (which I should be done with by now anyway), progress pressure, and weight loss goals with just five months of hard work and dedication it's utterly ridiculous not to just focus and get it over with. Granted, I'd still have work to do after that point and would probably even still want to lose a little more weight, but I'd also finally reach my longstanding milestone and get back to the point of being fit instead of always feeling fat. A point I reached for all of two weeks before I horribly fell off the wagon.
So now I'm focusing on how much time I have left instead of the time I let pass. It's already gone anyway and there's nothing I can do about it. And as the cliché saying goes, the time (the next five months) is going to pass anyway, I might as well make use of it and put this weight behind me once and for all. So that's the plan; get it over with.